Am I not worth an appetizer?


So I haven’t blogged in quite sometime now. I was going to reset myself and jump into it with a post titled, “A Better Me.” But, a million other thoughts came my way and I feel that it was time to say how I really feel.

I am 52-years-old. Single. Well sort of yes but, yes, yes I’m single woman. Who am I kidding. I talk to other men and have visions of me going on a date, finding out that I can be compatible with someone else but….. it stops even before the date. It stops with a stupid comment during the “text conversation” not even a phone conversation. Hmm, I think even further, did our banter get you off? Oh my God. No wonder why women resort to FansOnly or OnlyFans. They might as well get paid for the crap they get put through.

We exchange hellos, how are you, what’s new…then here it comes, the sexual innuendos. Why, why, why, do people not think before they speak? Do they realize that there is a right way and a wrong way?

Am I the one who is wrong? Is that how it’s supposed to be? Friendly banter and then bang? Literally, bang.

No. It doesn’t feel right. I have changed. Things changed. Situations have changed. This is a different period in my life that shouldn’t be one moment of self gratification and then that empty hole feeling. That feeling of eating a buttery English muffin with the butter dripping and afterwards realizing that’s it, it’s gone and I feel the buttery drippings, sliding down my arteries and a sluggish, why did I do that, kind of feeling.

Ya know what, I am worth that appetizer. I am worth a steak dinner at Prime. I am worth a dozen roses.

I am worth more then a 10 min frolic, there you go, get your rocks off, fling in bed. Way more. No buttery English muffins for me.

Is my vibe giving them the feeling that there will be nothing more after the dinner and roses? Maybe that will be case but I will not put myself out there so you can get your 10 mins of self-gratification at my expense. I am sorry. No I’m not. I’m not sorry and neither should any woman or man out there that goes through the same thing.

You are worth so much more. Don’t settle for that English muffin and butter feeling.

(This post was originally a draft from a year ago and like many others that I never had the nerve to post). Slowly but surely I will publish them. Just another obstacle that I have to get over).

Who’s In??


I don’t know but over the past 2 years I am indulging in doing the things I’ve always wanted to do but had obstacles stopping me for whatever reasons. Too many to list and not enough time to talk about it. Plus nothing is worth mentioning anyway. Life is short. Let bygones be bygones. Live for the moment. Do what you want and need to do now because sometimes those opportunities could vanish just like that.

Lately I have been and you should try it also…..

Take chances, expressing how you really feel, refuse to let people to use you and treat you like shit, actually like/loving yourself for a change, enjoying the moment even when those moments are far and few in between. Lay around and do absolutely nothing, go with your gut instinct, take care of you, mentally, physically, and financially. Have patience, don’t rush life, listen and I mean really listen when people are talking to you. Don’t take yourself or others for granted. Put the phone down, drink water and lots of it, be strong, be positive, and most of all have the gumption and perseverance to whatever it is you want to do in life and NEVER EVER GIVE UP!

My little home office is getting there and I am totally in love with this space. Hey I just added another pic. I got a lamp tonight for my desk. OMG love it. It has a charging port built right in it for my phone. mo5

 

Don’t discount the little things


So I saw these 3 lil pigs last week at Tj Maxx and debated over buying them. I passed on it and then all week I agonized if they were going to be there this weekend. Well, I lucked out and they were. They were on clearance for $10 bucks.

It’s amazing how the littlest thing can make you happy.

Once I really started appreciating the little things in life, that is when I seriously started feeling at peace with myself.

It doesn’t really require that much effort, time, or money to just take time for yourself and enjoy something. Like a cup of tea. Heat up the water and stick your tea bag in it. If you are on a budget(like myself)what I do is go to somewhere like Tj Maxx. Go to the dry goods section where the teas, nuts, chocolates are. Pick out a tea that peeks your interest. A kind with a pretty box. Go home and make that freakin cup of tea and enjoy it. Put some tunes on, pull up wordpress, facebook, pinterest, and just chill.

Enjoy your day.

My front porch


This is minimalism at its best. All this took took was a fresh coat of paint and a garage sale find for $80 bucks.

Sitting on a porch is the best therapy a person can get.

Life can be simple if you truly want it to be. Less is definitely more.