It’s a Catch-22. Speaking your mind. For me it is anyway. I feel there are days when I am invincible and speak my mind about anything and everything. Then there are days that if I think if do I will lose everything.
Abuse is a cycle that can only be broken by the victim who is being abused. It comes in so many different ways. More than you could ever imagine. In some cases, if the abuser is losing control of his/her victim he will then resort to physical abuse.
They prey on the kind and weak to get what they want. Whether it’s control to satisfy their own ego, use of the victim to gain what they need, money to fill their own pockets, they will use their scare tactics to accomplish their own goals at the expense of others well-being.
I know because I am a survivor. Unfortunately though, I see the cycle of abuse being done to someone close to me. All I can do is hope and pray that I can use my strength to make them see right from wrong and what is being done to them is not natural or healthy.
Abuse is NOT okay and it comes in so many forms. When you are treated a certain way and it gives you feelings of being scared, uselessness, uncertainty, worthlessness, hopelessness, please walk away. Those are unhealthy feelings that will destroy your confidence and take away your strength.
Getting a late start today. Took boys to school and starting my workday with Mike in a few. They are calling for lake effect snow up to 8 inches. I’m wondering if I’ll be picking up my cherubs early today hmmm….
It looks like a definite white out now as I type and look through my bedroom window. Cold but so beautiful.
I’ll take some pics and upload today.
God I love New York.
Have a great day everyone and don’t give up on whatever it is you set out to do. The best reward is the feeling of accomplishment. It doesn’t matter how big or small the task, the important part of it is that you got it done.
I want to change this cycle I have been in for the past 10+ years. I feel like I haven’t been doing what I should be doing or not where I should be in life. With that being said, since my last post I did get my Christmas miracle and all went well. Or as well as it could have been. For the most part it was peaceful. Was it because I kept the peace and if something was out of sorts I took the blame or just swept it under the carpet? I feel like I am holding my breath at times and it all went well until yesterday anyway.
I can’t help but get angry once in a while and say what I feel. This doesn’t sit well with him. In a nut shell I am supposed to take it because this is how he is especially when doing business and if everyone else does it means I should too. Am I being too sensitive? When he starts screaming at me or when I ask a simple question and if he isn’t in the perfect mood to talk to me, then I should just let it go when he blows up at me? I’m tired of thinking of the right way to handle this. I don’t make excuses for myself or play the martyr. On a daily basis with him that is what I contend with. I can’t take it anymore. Get over with what happened to you 43 years ago. Get over who did wrong in life and all the bad relationships you’ve had. This is life. Life is a cycle and if we harbor all that went wrong it will destroy us in the end. Why can’t people realize this??? If I held on to everything that went wrong in my life starting at age 6, the stress and memories from all of it would have killed me ten times over.
I wish for nothing more than for this to be my best year ever. No fighting, no screaming, no threats, just peace.