mental health

What are we looking at here

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It’s stability, reassurance, and clarification.

I bought my own home a little over a year now. My sister had helped me move in. We wiped out the cabinets, did some organizing, rearranging. But at one point she asked me, “why don’t we put the contact paper down now before you put the cups and dishes away?” I said, “no, I’ll get to it at another time, it’s no big deal.” She looked at me a little perplexed and I myself had feelings of uneasiness and uncertainty about doing it.”

For the past 13 years of my life, I have spent it on the go and trying to make a stable life for me and my boys. To make a long story short, I went through an exhausting and heartbreaking divorce, a house fire, two horrifice relationships after my divorce. Which yes it was my bad for trying to get the life I wanted for them and me. I just wanted the “white picket fence.” But I lived and I learned.

Which brings me to what this post is all about. After going through this for the past 13 years, my hopes and dreams finally came to fruition. I can rest. I can put my dishes and cups away without having to worry about what my next move is going to be. I am settled. I am in a better state of mind and place, physically. I’m not saying that my life won’t still have its ups and downs, but I can take those challenges head on and not have to worry about uprooting my whole life to try and make a go of it again.

I am here, grounded and safe.

That is all I ever wanted in life.

Whoever is reading this, never give up. Stay positive, have a purpose and a goal in mind. Never waver from your hopes and dreams, even in your lowest moments, when life feels at its most unforgiving. Please trust me on this.

Being 55, Without Apology

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There’s something quietly beautiful that happens in your fifties especially around 55 if you let it. A kind of clarity settles in. The noise fades. And for many of us, life finally begins to feel lighter.

You stop worrying so much about other people’s judgments. You don’t replay conversations the way you once did. Embarrassment loosens its grip. At some point, a simple truth clicks into place: most people aren’t paying attention to how you live and if they are, it’s often because they wish they had the courage to live more freely themselves.

Peace starts to feel like the ultimate luxury. Home becomes a sanctuary. Your bed, your routines, your dog, the quiet these things matter more than appearances ever did. You realize you don’t need more… you need less.

This is also the decade when many people finally learn to let go. You recognize when relationships carry ill intentions through words, actions, or patterns and you walk away without guilt. You stop taking things personally, because emotionally healthy people don’t invest their energy in trying to hurt others. And those who do? You wish them well. You pray for them. Then you choose distance.

So much comes into focus in your fifties. You step outside your comfort zone without fear. You simplify your space, your finances, your emotional world. You stop living above your means and start living within your values.

You no longer chase people to like you or love you. Real connection doesn’t need pursuit. And there’s a quiet confidence in knowing that the right partner the right people will fit your energy naturally, without force or performance.

Most of all, you learn how to speak honestly. Calmly. Directly. If something involves you, you address it with clarity, not defensiveness. Because by now, you understand that protecting your peace isn’t selfish it’s necessary.

Your fifties teach you this: letting go of nonsense isn’t loss it’s freedom.
It’s the season where you stop living for approval and start living with intention.
And for many of us, that realization feels like coming home to ourselves for the first time and living in the moment.

And the most surprising part of all? I don’t feel my age I feel younger than I ever did. It’s crazy! Not in a chasing youth kind of way, but in a grounded, settled way. I feel lighter and freer. There’s an ease now that didn’t exist before now, when everything felt rushed, heavy, or uncertain. This kind of feeling comes from self-acceptance, from knowing who you are and no longer apologizing for it. I never thought I would reach this point in my life, but I did and so could you at any age actually.

It’s okay to walk away

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We are all entitled to our own opinions and beliefs. I don’t judge, I don’t become angry, I’m not resentful, and I don’t hold anything against anyone because of someone’s own beliefs.

What I will do is walk away. I will walk away from subliminal comments and subtle digs that are thrown at me if I don’t agree with others.

It’s okay to cut ties for your own good.

It’s not for anyone else to make sense of why you do what you do. It only has to make sense to you. Have confidence when stepping away from relationships that make you feel inferior, dismissed, or small, Your peace is worth more than proximity.

Let Me Do My Job

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I’m taking a huge risk and it’s sad. I am taking a risk for saying how I really feel.

Today’s society is nothing like the one in which I grew up in. I had morals. I had respect. I lived by rules. Because of this, I am and became the person who I am today.

Things are different today. We, the older generation have to be afraid of what we say and do. The older generation is a lost and forgotten generation. I am talking about the ones who were born in the 60’s and 70’s and younger. Some of us are afraid, like me, who is in fear of losing my job. The job that’s keeping me afloat in this messed up world that we live in today. But should I really be living in fear? What am I at risk of losing? What am I going to gain if I say and do what I feel is in my heart?

The loss of my voice is debilitating. I cannot do the job that my heart yearns for me to do. My job is to make others better. To make others worthy and stronger and self-sufficient. All that is being stripped away from me.

I am a teacher. Let me teach. Let me do the best job I can and have faith in me that I will give others a chance to be successful in life. But how am I supposed to do that if you take away everything I believe in that I need to pass on to generations to come?

It’s a sad society that we live in today. It’s sad that we have to be afraid to discipline, give guidance, and instill morals to those who need it the most.