mindfulness

Feeling Not So Guilty

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We go all day long, all week long, all year long. Is there anytime to just sit and do mindless and useless things? It took me a long time to realize that yes there is time to sit and do nothing or do exactly what you want. I feel like that is the only way I can regroup and get myself motivated again.

Guilt stricken is the best way I can describe how I used to feel about wanting to do this. I think it stems from my childhood. No, I know it stems from my childhood. My mom was OCD nonstop. She wasn’t clinically diagnosed as OCD but the signs were there. Back then, there was no special diagnosis for overly cleaning, obsessing, or being anal retentive about everything she did. God rest her soul. She was the epitome of having EVERYTHING in an orderly fashion. In turn, it rubbed off on me in different ways. I felt like I could never let the dust go, let the mail pile up, do the dishes on an as you use basis. It’s hard because of so many reasons. One because I used to care what people think. Specifically my ex-husband, relatives, friends who visited, and my kids.

In spite of letting things go, people will be people. Either they’ll judge you or they won’t. But in the scheme of things, either way it does not matter. Let them judge. Let them think however they are going to think. It’s okay to do what YOU want.

What matters most is how you feel. You have to be mindful of yourself. Screw everyone else around you. I know it isn’t easy. It took me probably 45 years to realize this. It’s hard enough to survive in this world so let the small things go and do you. Take care of you.

Is it a sin to…

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…have no motivation whatsoever? This isn’t about me committing sins either lol.

I’m feeling guilty because I have got next to nothing done today. In all fairness, I had a little incident at work the beginning of the week that put me out of commission for a few days. But, don’t we all once in a while? Is it the end of the world? No.

That’s neither here nor there because I can still function to a degree and I thank my lucky stars that it wasn’t worse.

I was off for 3 1/2 days. It set off total flashbacks for me. Covid quarantine flashbacks. Like most of you, I never ever want to experience that again.

That is the type of jolt we all need once in a while to make us appreciate life. It certainly gave me a wakeup call. That wakeup call is not letting events or people control my happiness.

Everyone gets into a funk periodically because of outside factors. I let this, whatever you call it umm stupid state of mind put me in a funk. I usually practice what I preach but for some reason this one was hard for me to shake off.

The time off gave me a chance to think about things though. Downtime to think is sooo important, but I will save that for another post.

There was a great article I read about not letting your emotions control you. It is like a built-in instinctual habit when a person lets their emotions control their cognitive thought process. It can ruin everything or it can make everything perfect. It all depends on you and your brain.

You’re bummed because you didn’t get the job, you didn’t pass the test, or someone hasn’t called or texted you back etc.

There are so many influences that affect our emotional state. The question is, how do we turn on and off those emotions? How can you reflect or intersect whatever is making your emotions go haywire?

It boils down to your brain. Conditioning your thoughts to recognize that emotions are feelings and feelings can be altered literally in a split second. The key is to learn how to change your reaction to the actions that are affecting your emotions.

It sounds a lot more than it really is. I’m not saying that it is easy to turn off your emotions but controlling them with your thoughts, can be done.

Over the years I have learned how to not let certain events or people control my emotional state. I am not perfect at it but I’ve come a long way.

Emotions, the bad ones, can wreak havoc on your health. Depression, anger, and sadness, especially for a long period of time can really do damage to your overall well-being. It is worth it? The sadness or anger you went through and probably eventually got over, was it worth your time slighting yourself of happiness? Not only your happiness but the happiness of those around you as well.

There isn’t anything in this world worth not having peace of mind. Life is always going to happen no matter what you say or do. It is inevitable.

The one thing you do have control over is your mind. Keep it strong. Practice deflection. Those small idiotic things that you encounter that get your pissed or make you sad, shrug it off and ask yourself, is it worth bringing me into a bad emotional state? When you realize that there are no major catastrophes in life, only then will you start to feel peace.

Your time on this earth is so precious. Don’t waste it. Be at peace with yourself and those around you.

Okay, enough gibberish. Have a great weekend everyone. Enjoy life!