We go all day long, all week long, all year long. Is there anytime to just sit and do mindless and useless things? It took me a long time to realize that yes there is time to sit and do nothing or do exactly what you want. I feel like that is the only way I can regroup and get myself motivated again.
Guilt stricken is the best way I can describe how I used to feel about wanting to do this. I think it stems from my childhood. No, I know it stems from my childhood. My mom was OCD nonstop. She wasn’t clinically diagnosed as OCD but the signs were there. Back then, there was no special diagnosis for overly cleaning, obsessing, or being anal retentive about everything she did. God rest her soul. She was the epitome of having EVERYTHING in an orderly fashion. In turn, it rubbed off on me in different ways. I felt like I could never let the dust go, let the mail pile up, do the dishes on an as you use basis. It’s hard because of so many reasons. One because I used to care what people think. Specifically my ex-husband, relatives, friends who visited, and my kids.
In spite of letting things go, people will be people. Either they’ll judge you or they won’t. But in the scheme of things, either way it does not matter. Let them judge. Let them think however they are going to think. It’s okay to do what YOU want.
What matters most is how you feel. You have to be mindful of yourself. Screw everyone else around you. I know it isn’t easy. It took me probably 45 years to realize this. It’s hard enough to survive in this world so let the small things go and do you. Take care of you.