Stop Doing IT


What is “it?” It is anything that you don’t want to be doing. I’m still tip toeing around people in order to give them what they want and what they want to hear. I’m not doing this all the time just more than I want to at this point. I’ve gotten a lot better. I’m sure there are many of you who do the same. It’s internally agonizing. We fret over it constantly.

What is the issue with saying the word “no?” Why can’t we just spit it out. It’s the word we want to use but are afraid to for so many reasons. Reasons being, we are compassionate and caring people. How much more do you have to give? We say yes a lot of the time to make others happy but isn’t it time you make yourself happy? I’m 52-years-old and it’s time. I can’t spend the rest of my life for others.

It’s not just about the word “no.” It encompasses so much more. It’s really about our ability of not being able to give ourselves what we need. What is it that we really need? And is what we need a lot to be asking for?

Some wants are not materialistic and some wants don’t cost a penny. The want is something we desire from within. It’s peace. That’s it. It’s having mental peace. Peace with feeling and knowing you are doing exactly what you want.

Just do it. Take that step and don’t feel guilty about taking care of you.

Feeling Not So Guilty


We go all day long, all week long, all year long. Is there anytime to just sit and do mindless and useless things? It took me a long time to realize that yes there is time to sit and do nothing or do exactly what you want. I feel like that is the only way I can regroup and get myself motivated again.

Guilt stricken is the best way I can describe how I used to feel about wanting to do this. I think it stems from my childhood. No, I know it stems from my childhood. My mom was OCD nonstop. She wasn’t clinically diagnosed as OCD but the signs were there. Back then, there was no special diagnosis for overly cleaning, obsessing, or being anal retentive about everything she did. God rest her soul. She was the epitome of having EVERYTHING in an orderly fashion. In turn, it rubbed off on me in different ways. I felt like I could never let the dust go, let the mail pile up, do the dishes on an as you use basis. It’s hard because of so many reasons. One because I used to care what people think. Specifically my ex-husband, relatives, friends who visited, and my kids.

In spite of letting things go, people will be people. Either they’ll judge you or they won’t. But in the scheme of things, either way it does not matter. Let them judge. Let them think however they are going to think. It’s okay to do what YOU want.

What matters most is how you feel. You have to be mindful of yourself. Screw everyone else around you. I know it isn’t easy. It took me probably 45 years to realize this. It’s hard enough to survive in this world so let the small things go and do you. Take care of you.

There is no such thing as weird


As the old saying goes, we all march to the beat of our own drum. What is good for you might not be good for others, but that doesn’t mean you are weird. I shake my head at people who have comments like that or insinuate that they way you do things aren’t the right way or different.

I am 52-years-old and I still have people telling me that I’m weird, or I do things weird. What does that even mean? Are people in this day and age still that narrow minded? I can’t even call those who make comments like that dumb, because they aren’t. They are just self-centered, narrow minded, one way thinkers who believe that if it’s not done their way, it’s considered weird.

I can’t lol. I’m laughing out loud as I type this.

Just because you choose to live your life the way YOU want, please don’t let anyone make you second guess yourself. If for whatever reason, you don’t like a certain food, you like to wear certain outfits or colors, you prefer coffee a certain way, that is okay. You are not weird. You are human.

There is nothing weird about anything or anyone. If someone does call you weird or the way you do things, that’s just because they are miserable. Feel bad for them because they live a monotonous life.