Sick Day


Yeah well I did it. I called in sick today. Thought about it all night while I was fighting a headache and woke up exhausted but the headache is going away haha.

I went back and forth deciding on whether or not I should call in sick. Thinking of what my future may hold if I do take a sick day. Calculating the days I already took off. Feeling that nervousness in my stomach and then…..a meme popped up on my Facebook feed. Shit you not……

I say hell yeah. So I did. My kids are home from Florida and might be going back again soon. The sun is shining and I just felt like I needed a day off mentally and physically.

Life is for living right? That includes making a living, spending time with the people you love, enjoying every little and big moment. Take the day off.

Not only that but don’t be afraid to do what it is that your gut is telling you to do. What’s the worse that could happen? Seriously, will you be beheaded? Stop the madness.

Worrying gets you no where. Worrying is a useless way to use brain energy. It depletes you and robs you of precious time.

Enjoy your day please I’m begging you. Tomorrow is not promised.

Roll with it


Don’t over analyze anything. It will destroy you. You have to just take life as it comes and as hard or easy as that may be, just let it happen.

If you think positive, I can assure you positive things will come. Manifesting what you want is not bs. The key is you truly have to put your heart and soul into what you want. There is no pretending either. You have to give it your all.

Don’t stop. It is possible.

Who’s In??


I don’t know but over the past 2 years I am indulging in doing the things I’ve always wanted to do but had obstacles stopping me for whatever reasons. Too many to list and not enough time to talk about it. Plus nothing is worth mentioning anyway. Life is short. Let bygones be bygones. Live for the moment. Do what you want and need to do now because sometimes those opportunities could vanish just like that.

Lately I have been and you should try it also…..

Take chances, expressing how you really feel, refuse to let people to use you and treat you like shit, actually like/loving yourself for a change, enjoying the moment even when those moments are far and few in between. Lay around and do absolutely nothing, go with your gut instinct, take care of you, mentally, physically, and financially. Have patience, don’t rush life, listen and I mean really listen when people are talking to you. Don’t take yourself or others for granted. Put the phone down, drink water and lots of it, be strong, be positive, and most of all have the gumption and perseverance to whatever it is you want to do in life and NEVER EVER GIVE UP!

My little home office is getting there and I am totally in love with this space. Hey I just added another pic. I got a lamp tonight for my desk. OMG love it. It has a charging port built right in it for my phone. mo5

 

You’ll have one of those days DV survivor. It’s okay, just breathe.


I’d say a majority of my posts, probably all my posts are optimistic, upbeat, positive, and reinforcing, but Friday was a pretty bad day for me.

It set me back quite a bit. I’m not going to go into details because in the end it doesn’t matter. What matters is that being a DV survivor is how you bounce back and realize that you’ll have moments like this in life.

I haven’t had a bad day like that in approximately 14 months. The one on Friday was over a miscommunication between myself and another individual. The screaming began. Not me but him. I froze. My legs were like cement. I felt like I was actually going to faint. I listened and barely spoke and after that 3 minutes of that horrific moment, just like that, it was over.

I don’t post about being a domestic violence survivor because number one, I hate pity parties. I hate dwelling. I hate reliving those time periods in my life. But now it feels different. I feel like I am in a place where I can discuss it to a degree without completely going into a catatonic state.

Without a doubt in my mind, PTSD and domestic violence go hand in hand. I’m getting better since Friday, I am doing things to try and forget it. I’m able to hold back the tears, the ache inside, the pains in my stomach, and the thoughts of it are diminishing.

You have to draw a line in your mind with you on one side and the incident on the other. Look over that line. Realize that you are on the safe side and you recognize that you are okay standing where you are. Look at that incident like you are watching it on tv. After it’s over, shut it off. It’s over and done with. You are standing over that line and you are okay and safe.

Next, look around you. You can breathe. You’re alive.  You are going to have times in your life that even though you aren’t in that domestic violence relationship you were once in, you will encounter times that are going to make you feel like you are.

This probably sounds like I am allowing people to treat me the way I use to, no. This is called everyday life and people are going to have heated arguments, disagreements, and even though it affects you so severely, those doing the screaming and yelling don’t have any clue. They don’t know what you’ve been through. But you do and you can overcome any blip in the screen. Your heart is beating and you are okay.

How did I handle this you ask? Well after he left the room, I stood with my feet glued to the floor. It took at least a minute to move my rock feeling feet and rubber band legs again. I am resilient and I can get through this I said to myself. At first I was angry, no tears, just rage building up inside me. I was disappointed with myself. Then the tears and sobbing started. This is the first time someone made me feel like this since I left my last relationship 14 months ago. I felt like I needed to go runaway and hide like I’ve done before.  I sat there and didn’t know what to do.

Right then, he walked in the room and sat down. Of course I was speechless. What do I do? How am I going to handle this again? But it wasn’t an “again.” He said to me that he wanted to apologize. He didn’t mean to scream at me like that. I felt a little relieved, not a lot, just a little. I responded with what I had to say and explained myself. It was just a measly miscommunication over something so trivial. I don’t think, I know he realized the way the way he approached me was uncalled for. We talked and I cried. I couldn’t help it. Through the sobs, I told him I am a strong woman. I am independent.  He looked at me like I was nuts and didn’t understand what I was getting at.  That’s okay though. Communication helped ME understand that not every situation is the same as it was before.

Even if it was a different situation, and it was the onset of another bad relationship, I have the knowledge and strength now to know the difference and exit from any toxic relationship that has the potential of infiltrating me.

Enough said. You too can overcome and defeat anything that comes your way. Just breathe. It’s going to be okay. You’re alive and able to get it right this time. Be thankful.