It’s been one thing after another. My mom died in August, my house caught fire on Christmas Eve, my boyfriend’s grandmother has cancer, and now I have to put our dog down who we just found out she has cancer. Oh and I have to go for a stress test, echocardiogram tomorrow because my ekg was off the charts. But yet, time after time I remain optimistic and keep saying everything happens for a reason. What is the reason? I think I know what I have to do to stop the universe from biting me in the ass. It is time to change my thinking. I am not necessarily doing anything wrong but it is the thought of going through with the potential things I have in mind to do.

It has to stop. I have to change. I can’t get back what has already happened and I can’t stop the inevitable, but from here on in I can make a conscious effort to think and do right.

If I can’t fix the problem that provokes me to think and want to do whatever it is, then I have to make a change on that as well. I’m tired, my heart is tired, my head is tired. I don’t want my life to be so tiring anymore. I want calm. I want peace and for things to go smoothly. I am not asking for anything more than I have, I just need a break from the bad that keeps happening. Please God give me that break.