Coffee, thinking, and thought for the day


Do what makes YOU happy…….

This might seem like a simple statement that people tend to think is so easy to accomplish but it goes a lot deeper, for me anyway.

Day 3 and I am still in my positive mode. I love it. I look at everything and everyone differently. It doesn’t mean that once in a while I might get off track but at least I am aware of it.

I’m staying focused on what my goals are.

I am taking people for what they are worth and throwing compassion into the mix as well.

I’m not running from finding my solutions to my problems.

I am just taking it day by day and I am not going to feel guilty about being simple or happy.

I finished up my last semester in December and just found out I made the Dean’s list again. I think my GPA is 3.28. Pretty sure that’s it. I have one class to finish up my associates and I am done!!!! I’ll be taking that probably in the next few months or whenever I can find a quick mini session to do it in.

Anyway, the key here is to stay focused and organized. You truly have to break things down to a simpler form and tackle whatever it is step by step and finish what you set out on accomplishing.

For me I just want to accomplish finding true peace and happiness which I think come hand in hand. I think people think you need material resources to find that peace and happiness but that is so not true. Getting rid of the material things around me and eliminating the stuff as well as people who are preventing me to do that is what is making me happy.

The first question you have to ask is; what makes you happy? I had to ask myself this question over and over again until I figured it out. For me it’s simple, the first answer is spending time with my family and doing for them. I can go on and on into the details and everything else that follows but I’m just trying to get my message across for those of you who might need direction.

Don’t feel guilty or bad about what makes you happy. I felt like my whole life I tried to conform to what everyone else thought the definition of happy should be and finally in my 40’sm, I figured it out what it is that I needed to be happy. Better late than never right? lol

This post might seem all over the board but once I figure out the pattern on how I want to get my messages across everything will fall into place a little bit better.

Enjoy the day everyone. I have to get mine started!!

 

 

Just looking for a miracle, one last time


All I want for this Christmas is peace. Plain and simple. Peace within the current relationship I am in now. That’s it. I’m giving him one more chance. He agreed that he will seek help for his anger and other issues he has going on and I am going to go with that for now only because it is Christmas.

I am a domestic violence survivor and I refuse to be a survivor again. I don’t want to go through what I went through before. I refuse to let my kids witness any form of abuse whatsoever. I went through physical, verbal, and mental abuse for 20 years and I am not going allow it again. I have been with him for 1 year now and putting it bluntly I don’t have the time to waste on worrying every second of my life. This is it. He has never hit me but the verbal aspect of it is debilitating at times. I’m not stupid or dependent on others. I just don’t walk away easily and give people the benefit of the doubt too much sometimes.

“He” is on notice so I am taking this minute by minute. He went through something traumatic at Christmas time when he was younger but that is no excuse because so did I and I never but the blame on anything or anyone else for my actions so he shouldn’t either.

Today is the day before Christmas eve. This is weighing heavily on my mind and heart. I hope my decision is right by giving him this last chance. If not, I’m out. No ifs, ands, or buts.

Please, please, please just give me this one Christmas miracle that all will go well. So far since our discussion last Friday it has been going okay but I’m at my wits end taking it min by min. I need peace.