of what makes you happy. Sometimes I feel guilty for going with what makes me happy. I have to let go of what I think I should be doing that makes everyone else happy.

Over the past week, the fight with him,(we talked) I understand what was making him irate. It was what everyone else around me was doing. The gossip, the drama, etc. I have to let all that go or let him go. Black and white. He makes me happy. I blew our last argument out of proportion. Hey I’m only human. He is after my best interests and at the time I was too blind to see it but I do now.

I don’t know what is going to come out of all this. But that’s just it, for the rest of my life I have no laid out plans of what is to come, no one does. That is what I need to get through my thick skull and stop worrying. I worry about what is going to happen and wasting so much precious time on non sense. Some of what I am worrying about is self induced. I opened my mouth about something at a time where I needed to vent and now I’m afraid that the person I told is going to use it against me. How do I deal with that? I was venting not gossiping. I guess I just have to have faith in that person and hope that what I told them they will keep in confidence.

My head is spinning once again and it is only 6:45 a.m.  I have to go to my practicum this morning and I am in no mood but then again it does take my mind off of a lot. It could be much worse. I am blessed with everything I have been given. I have a beautiful life and two amazing little boys. That’s all that matters.

Some one slap me please. Ugh I think too much.