Sometimes..

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…it’s nice to veg before bed. I’m pinning, thinking, and blogging on here. I’m so tired but yet don’t want to go to sleep yet.

I’ve seen some things this week interning and doing in-home visits that made me appreciate my life that much more. My healthy babies, a clean warm home, people who love me, are things that should never be discounted.

Love unconditionally. Let things go especially worry. Worrying gets you no where and fast. Worry wastes such precious time. Enjoy this moment and life because tomorrow that could all change.

I am so blessed.

People, life, relationship, hurt, choices, chances

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They piss me off. They also make my blood pressure rise. I left someone because he treated me and my boys horribly. I’m talking about my boyfriend of 5 years. He put on a show for his friends and family(sometimes)and acted like he really gave a shit. Behind closed doors we were living in hell. My son developed a stuttering problem over the course of two years and as soon I as left him, my sons stuttering problem stopped. He put us down, he screamed and yelled at us so much that my kids wore their earphones to their ipods and computer all the time. They didn’t want to hear it anymore and neither did I. He slipped from time to time and showed his true colors in front of his friends and family.

What I should have done from the beginning was take the advice of those who came to me and forewarned me about him and told me to stay away from him but stupid me, always giving someone the benefit of the doubt as usual.

I’m so happy and I hate it when people get in my ear and tell me how what I did wasn’t right, or how I’m going about things isn’t cool. How is it do they want me to go about it??? Stay with a person who belittled my kids and I? Stay with a person who made us a nervous wreck? Why just so we can make everyone’s life seem peachy??

All I can honestly say is that I tried. I gave it my best effort but I could do no more or I probably would have lost my kids to their dad. It was a bad situation that I had to make right and I did.

His house, his family, the camping trips, the big holidays, the presents for the kids, all that means nothing when you get back home and it’s just the four of us and it goes bad once again. Those times that are so far and few in between aren’t worth everything else that we had to go through. I wish things could have been different. There is so much more to the story but why bother? It’s like everyone else who goes through this it’s a relationship that went bad. I spent 18 years in an abusive relationship and there was no way I was going to spend the rest of my life in a similar situation. And, if the time ever arises again where I am not happy or I’m in a place where I don’t want to be in life, I’ll change it again. That is my option. This is life and we have the ability to make choices. If you don’t, your stupid.

Over and out for now until I feel the need to spill my guts once again.

Dishes

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I stepped out of the box and splurged on a new set of dishes from the Dollar Tree. The brand though is Royal Norfolk which I’m really surprised because I think that is a pretty good quality dish? Eh maybe I’m wrong and I want to believe I got a steal but whatever anyway. I love them and they are different then anything I would buy. Out with the old in with the new.

I seriously have no business being on here. I’m behind on my schoolwork and I skipped interning today. Arrghh my bad. It was just one of those days.

I went for my regular checkup and the good news was I am off my BP medicine for the time being well until he checks it next week to make sure my BP stays down and I lost 15 lbs since September. Wooo hooo! The bad news is I have two cyst on my wrist which is causing my arm to go numb and the other bad news is I don’t have health insurance to have them removed. Oh well. I don’t think I’m alone on that one.

Anyway that’s it for now. I have to get going on my chores blah.

dishes

And the hits keep coming…

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and still all I can do is laugh! I’m sitting on the phone with the NYS Dept of Taxation and Finance. Hold time, 30 mins, shocking. They need additional information to process my return. Wth it is a simple form. Just another way to delay to giving me my refund. Word to the wise, I love NY don’t get me wrong but it’s crazy how expensive it is to live here and all the hoops you have to go through to survive in this state. They tax everything and I wouldn’t be surprised if they even taxed you when you sneezed.

They keep repeating to me how important my call is to them, well if it was why are you making me wait 30 mins to answer it? I don’t even want to think about how much this call is costing me. Does Verizon charge for landline calls? I really should have checked on that. Oh well.

I have so much to do and the last thing I want to be doing is waiting on the phone but hey it gives me time on here to putts around right.

I think I worked myself up so much lately that I am either have psoriasis or eczema on my hand from my nerves. Good job Jeana that is what you get for giving a hoot.

Only me.

Okay, update it has been 33:32 and they still haven’t picked up my important call. Unreal.