It’s about 8:00 and the house is super quiet. Boys are sleeping. Rain is falling, yes rain. Should be snow here in NY this time of year but eh rain always has a soothing way about it now matter how messy it makes the left over snow look.
Anyway this is the best time of the day when I can think. When I think I start typing away so here I go.
It’s two days away from my birthday and I feel the more I grow closer to my mid 40’s the clearer things become. Life is truly black and white. It’s either you live it and you live it happily or you don’t.
Why would you stop pursuing your happiness? The sky is limitless. Yes there are barriers to happiness such as yourself, other people, and circumstances but look at it this way, the only thing that can truly prevent yourself from being happy is death lol.
Remember this is the normal girl from Long Island talking(who now resides in upstate NY) again and who has been through A LOT and when I say A LOT of different barriers but nothing has stopped me from getting to where I needed to be at that very point in my life. Like right now. I’m resting finally. Hmmm or how else can I describe it..? I feel calm and peace in my life right now. But wait my life is not perfect omg not even close. I’m going to go into a little bit of detail just so you guys can relate to what is going on in my life and how I DO NOT let that have an impact on my happiness. Got that?
For starters, money is tight. When I mean tight I mean tight like 3 pounds of sausage in a two lb. bag tight lol. My child support hasn’t come in in 3 weeks, I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown interviewing and doing presentations for a job that I so desperately need and want. I’m having major issues with my 12-year-old son regarding just about everything and everything. And re-occurring trust issues with my boyfriend(partly because of my views on our relationship and how I handle things). Too much to explain. These issues are just the gist of it.
My point is that I am happy even with all of that going on. Do you know why?? Because I put everything in perspective. Money issues will always be there and if I don’t think positive those money issues will never get resolved. The CS will come in when it comes in. I am a little ahead on paying my bills so I have to look at that as a plus. If I continue to think positive about this job I am going to get, it will happen.
The issues with my son, aren’t really issues. It’s life and so be it. Things could be a lot worse and I am blessed that this is the extent of my issues with him.
The trust and control issues with my boyfriend is a whole other ball game. For the most part we get along great but in order to get back to where we were about five months ago, we need to work on our communication.
All this can be fixed. None of it is life threatening. If I continue to stress, it will be life threatening.
There is always a way. I’m reverting back to my earlier posts about positive thinking. It isn’t easy as I make it sound. It took me years and years to finally get this cycle working the right way.
The way I got to this point of realizing what is important to worry about and what isn’t, was by reading and googling everything about positive thinking and eliminate stress. Everyone does it in their own special way so sometimes you have to take bits and pieces of things that will work for you.
Trust me on this. Happiness is achievable. I promise.