Good Morning


This is the view out my window this morning. So serene. It doesn’t get any better than this. I am truly blessed.

This is actually the view out my boyfriend’s window but we are contemplating having the boys and I move in. For now we are taking it one day at a time.

It is a good feeling knowing that there are options out there. I love the house I’m renting now but it is quite tiny and no yard whatsoever. But it is adorable. I’ll post some pics soon.

My boyfriend built his own home attached to his business. It is on 3 acres and the views are spectacular. He wants us to move in with him and his daughter like yesterday. I’m just taking it slow and want it to be perfect when we do.

You can’t always rush in to things. You have to take time to think it out. I love him and our family has a perfect fit but I’ll know when the time is right.

Why am I sharing this with you? I have no clue! I just love rambling on about my life sometimes lol. I have my ups and downs too just like everyone else.

Have a great hump day! Enjoy life.

Just a ride


One year ago I had no idea how much my life could change and finally for the better. It got simpler and I became happier.

It doesn’t cost anything to be happy. People fail to recognize that there is so much out there in life that you can create happiness from.

Right now, I’m sitting in bed blogging, waiting for my honey to get up and then we will probably go for a ride with his friends. Yesterday we did the same. The views are spectacular from a bike ride. Seriously, I feel like I hit lotto because I met him and how it not only changed but saved my life.

I’m not saying my life is perfect, by all means no way. August 26th I start my college courses(5 to be exact)and I am starting to hyperventilate when I think about it. I’m 43-years-old, taking 5 classes this fall to finish my associates in Human Services and I am starting to panic. I just feel like it’s going to be too much. I usually take 4 but I need to get it over and done with this time.

Hey I was going through my reader section and I notice so many bloggers out there that I’ve started following like a year ago, don’t post anymore. I go through the same slump but I miss reading the great posts they make. What a shame.

 

In between


There are days when you feel like you are so in between and you can’t decide on which way to go. That goes to say with anything, love, relationships, major life decisions, etc. How do you decided on what path to take? My theory on that is let it play out by it self and let time work for you. Everything needs time. When the decision arises stop and breathe then let the dust settle and see where it all falls. That does not happen instantaneously. It takes time.

I let time work for me so I don’t have to do all the contemplating on what to do. When I do that sometimes the answer for my decision pops up right in front of my face for me.

Let go of the inevitable and breathe. In due time the answer will come to you too.

People, life, relationship, hurt, choices, chances


They piss me off. They also make my blood pressure rise. I left someone because he treated me and my boys horribly. I’m talking about my boyfriend of 5 years. He put on a show for his friends and family(sometimes)and acted like he really gave a shit. Behind closed doors we were living in hell. My son developed a stuttering problem over the course of two years and as soon I as left him, my sons stuttering problem stopped. He put us down, he screamed and yelled at us so much that my kids wore their earphones to their ipods and computer all the time. They didn’t want to hear it anymore and neither did I. He slipped from time to time and showed his true colors in front of his friends and family.

What I should have done from the beginning was take the advice of those who came to me and forewarned me about him and told me to stay away from him but stupid me, always giving someone the benefit of the doubt as usual.

I’m so happy and I hate it when people get in my ear and tell me how what I did wasn’t right, or how I’m going about things isn’t cool. How is it do they want me to go about it??? Stay with a person who belittled my kids and I? Stay with a person who made us a nervous wreck? Why just so we can make everyone’s life seem peachy??

All I can honestly say is that I tried. I gave it my best effort but I could do no more or I probably would have lost my kids to their dad. It was a bad situation that I had to make right and I did.

His house, his family, the camping trips, the big holidays, the presents for the kids, all that means nothing when you get back home and it’s just the four of us and it goes bad once again. Those times that are so far and few in between aren’t worth everything else that we had to go through. I wish things could have been different. There is so much more to the story but why bother? It’s like everyone else who goes through this it’s a relationship that went bad. I spent 18 years in an abusive relationship and there was no way I was going to spend the rest of my life in a similar situation. And, if the time ever arises again where I am not happy or I’m in a place where I don’t want to be in life, I’ll change it again. That is my option. This is life and we have the ability to make choices. If you don’t, your stupid.

Over and out for now until I feel the need to spill my guts once again.