relationships

This cycle

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I want to change this cycle I have been in for the past 10+ years. I feel like I haven’t been doing what I should be doing or not where I should be in life. With that being said, since my last post I did get my Christmas miracle and all went well. Or as well as it could have been. For the most part it was peaceful. Was it because I kept the peace and if something was out of sorts I took the blame or just swept it under the carpet? I feel like I am holding my breath at times and it all went well until yesterday anyway.

I can’t help but get angry once in a while and say what I feel. This doesn’t sit well with him. In a nut shell I am supposed to take it because this is how he is especially when doing business and if everyone else does it means I should too. Am I being too sensitive? When he starts screaming at me or when I ask a simple question and if he isn’t in the perfect mood to talk to me, then I should just let it go when he blows up at me? I’m tired of thinking of the right way to handle this. I don’t make excuses for myself or play the martyr. On a daily basis with him that is what I contend with. I can’t take it anymore. Get over with what happened to you 43 years ago. Get over who did wrong in life and all the bad relationships you’ve had. This is life. Life is a cycle and if we harbor all that went wrong it will destroy us in the end. Why can’t people realize this??? If I held on to everything that went wrong in my life starting at age 6, the stress and memories from all of it would have killed me ten times over.

I wish for nothing more than for this to be my best year ever. No fighting, no screaming, no threats, just peace.

Throw away the key

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It does not take much to make me content. I’m sitting watching the sunset over the West Canada Creek with my boys and boyfriend. Pellet stove going, football on and waiting for the GMEN to come on. All I have or ever wanted is right here in this living room. It took a while to get it right and by all means my life isn’t perfect but if I were to die tomorrow I can say I died happy.

Life is good. Enjoy the little things.

Sylvan Beach, NY

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We took a ride today. We started out with about 14 other bikers but a little later on broke off from them because Mike had to go check something out he was going to buy for his shop. Low and behold to make a long story short, he didn’t end up buying it. It didn’t matter because when we get an opportunity to go riding alone, to me, times like that are priceless.

Today we started out at a place called Van’s in Barneveld then headed towards Sylvan Beach which is located on Oneida Lake. The lake is about 30 miles long and you can find place’s to shop, eat, and bars there with live entertainment and pretty darn good food. On days like today with the weather being just about perfect, Sylvan Beach was pretty packed. The place we picked to eat at was Crazy Clams. We split the dill Havarti burger and supreme nachos. The next stop after that was Harpoon Eddy’s just for a quick drink and then we took off after that to go on our own way.

Getting on the back of the bike and riding to wherever with him, gives me a feeling that is indescribable.  The routes we take are for the most part scenic as always. He knows just where to go so we can get the most out of our views for the day. We see so many different things and smell so many different scents in the open air ranging from pines tress, fresh cut grass, different flowers that are in bloom,  bbq grilles going, etc., You just can’t buy things like that and that is what makes the life I live so invaluable.  I love crusing through one town after another, some of which make you feel like you stepped back a couple of decades.

Here are some pics from today and some from our ride a few weeks ago. The little white house and church were located in the Town of Madison, NY.

. church fields us3

Summer 14

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Over the past couple of days we had some things going on that we had to attend to. One thing being the BAR Association Golf Tournament. We have a few friends that are lawyers and the one friend puts on a golf tournament to raise money. Lol??? A lawyer raising money for what? But whatever, anyway we had a fantastic time with another couple that we are friends with.

BarAss14Golf tournament

Our second function we had to attend to was called Dyno Days. It was an even put on by friend of ours who ones a business that fixes and enhances high performance motorcycles. This was their 2nd annual Dyno Days they put on and it had a pretty good turnout. This was only my first year I had gone because I just met mike last September.

dyno1 dyno2 dyno3 dyno4 dyno5

I love my life and I love the people who we associate with. I tell Mike all the time that he has some great friends (so do I) and we so fortunate to do the things we do. It is the little things in life that people take advantage of that shouldn’t be discounted.