Loss

My dream last night

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I had a dream about my mom last night. She passed away last August and this was the 2nd dream I had of her but it was a good one. I came in the side door of her house and went to the left a few stairs down into the basement where she washed clothes and was calling to her mom, mom. I heard her voice and she said yes I’m here. Then she came out from the other room in her basement wearing her pajamas and I walked down stairs all the way and said I love you and we started hugging. She said I love you too and it was like I really felt her, smelled her, and could hear her voice. I asked her if I’m wrong. I kept saying, mom am I wrong and she said no honey you’re not. It’s not right what they did to you.

I wonder if that was her coming to me in my dreams or is it my mind thinking this on its own? It felt so real and it was so vivid. The next part of the dream we went up to her kitchen/dining area and she said you have to rent my house. But it was already being occupied by the new owners(as it is now)and when were were standing in the kitchen the new owner came through the back door asking what we were doing in her house. We just started talking and the new owner said, oh I didn’t actually buy this house I’m just renting it and I’ll be out soon. Mean while even though my mom was dead she was still talking with us and the new owner.

I’ve been dreaming so much lately and remembering my dreams but that’s why I had to write this one down because I didn’t want to forget it. I cried when I woke up. A good and bad cry I guess because I really felt her and because I miss her so much. She was all I had left. I don’t talk to my sisters anymore and my dad lives in Florida. I talk with him occassionally but my mom was the only one who really cared about my boys(on my side of the family).

I miss her so much. If anyone knows something about dreams do you have any idea what this is suppose to mean? If there is any hidden meaning behind this one at all?

Starting from scratch

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To me, life will always be some sort of a process. What’s the saying…if you don’t succeed, try again. Well, it’s true. How do you know what will make you happy if you don’t go out there and truly experience life right? If something doesn’t work(relationship, job, etc.)then change it or fix it.

I love sharing my thoughts for the day, recipes, as well as tips and ideas I learned from other bloggers and pinners. Oh how I love Pinterest! I hope you enjoy reading my posts and if you have any ideas or comments you’d like to share with me, please feel free!

I’ve had this site for over 5 years so my life has definitely changed. Relationships have come and gone, I’ve moved a few times, and I loved and I lost. But, this is life right. If I was to go back and delete all my past posts, you wouldn’t have seen the journey I’ve been on. Some of my stories are possibly something one of you could relate to.

Everything that has happened to me thus far has brought me to where I am today. I’ve learned a lot. Maybe you can too. Don’t ever contemplate change. It’s a good thing.

One of a kind

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mtt7Ok here I go…I have to start off by saying, there is nothing more in life that I love other than being a mom and I have only one person to thank for that and that is my mother. No one knew how to appreciate life more than her. She taught me to accept the things that I had no control over yet take charge of what I could. My mom always said stop worrying. Worrying is like a rocking chair; it gives you something to do but gets you nowhere. I am finally starting to get a grip of what she was trying to tell me after all these years. I have no one else to thank but her for making me the strong individual that I am today and learned from her how to “not take shit from anyone.” I don’t mean to be so blunt but that is what she used to tell me; don’t live your life for anyone but yourself. You will never be able to please everyone so stop trying. My mother wasn’t perfect, nor am I and neither of us ever claim to be but we both felt that if you can’t accept us for who we are then move on. We most certainly did not have the perfect mother/daughter relationship but after our little tiffs we’d take turns sending each other a text and say, are you over it bitch? Yea, yea I am so when are we going to the casino? No argument was worth keeping us apartment no matter what it was over. I could go on and on about her for hours but what I really want to say is that she was truly an amazing mother and the best friend I ever had. For those of you who still have your mom today, don’t take her for granted and accept all her flaws with a grain of salt. Life is so short and if I would have known that she wasn’t going to be with me on this Mother’s Day, I would have done things a little bit more differently. I would have spent a lot more time with her and I would have had more patience. Everyone should do the same because you are all so lucky that you have that chance to make things right. On that note, I want to wish the best Mother’s Day to all the beautiful moms in my life. Enjoy the day with your babies and give thanks for having the ability to say Happy Mother’s Day to your mom.
Another huge Happy Mother’s Day goes out to my other Mom(Jer)who I don’t get to talk to as much as I’d like to but I know when I pick up that phone she is always there to listen to me vent and just talk about anything and everything. Thank you for always, always being there for me and loving me unconditionally. Love you so much Mom xoxo
We are so lucky to have such wonderful women in our lives that have treated my kids and I like we are their own without question or hesitation. Thank you Grandma Jo, Aunt Deb, Aunt Keekee, and Cindy ❤ You are all the best and we are so very fortunate you came into our life.
Have a great day everyone and Happy Mother’s Day.
I love you mom ❤