An Important Day


I usually shy away from posts that center on me. When I do write, I try to use myself as an example to get my point across but this post will be different. I’m 55 years old!!! Wow. It’s taking a while to fully register in my brain.

I recently joined Hinge, the dating app. I’ve tried others in the past. I’d go on and off, giving it about 5–10 days, then cancel my subscription. I’m starting to think that what I want just isn’t out there. It feels like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Or could it be that I’m subliminally changing up my checklist to avoid this whole having-a-partner kind of thing?

Is it because I’ve been single for so long? Is four years a long time? I’m starting to think it is… I guess lol.

There’s no shame in solitude, at least not for me. I endured too much for too long to waste any more precious time settling.

My saying is: “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.”

A Cozy Frame of Mind


Clinton Farmer’s Market, Clinton, NY


Clinton’s Farmer’s Market is held on Thursdays from 10-4. There is something to be said about farmer’s markets. They make you feel rooted I guess. If that is the word I am looking for. I feel like I go back in time when I go to a farmer’s market. It’s a shopping experience that is out of the ordinary. You have to try it to get the vibe.

Mud


Have you ever felt like your feet were stuck in mud? Metaphorically speaking obviously.

You are in limbo. You don’t know whether you are coming or going.

You are just sitting and waiting. Waiting and waiting.

My life has been on hold for 5 years. No actually since my divorce in 2006. Maybe even before that but I have such a bad memory I can’t remeber beyond 1993.

I felt like I was living in a pinball machine and I was the ball getting knocked from side to side just waiting to fall through the hole and be done with the game.

It’s been a rough ride down. It hurt going from one side to the other side and being smash by the metal prongs.

I just wanted to fall through the hole and lay my head down and rest.

I am almost to the bottom but my body is sore. My brain is over being jolted. There are too many thoughts being thrown around. I’m over it.

I’m tired.

But, it’s almost over.

You have to believe and never give up.